The Decision Confirmed

The phone was literally ringing off the hook for the first four days after we found out. Thank goodness for caller ID. I felt loved by the amount of care we were receiving but overwhelmed. The only calls we took were from doctors offices.

My OB was out of town that week so I took a call from one of her partners the day after we found out. We had three friends over at the time who came to give hugs and pray. As I took the call upstairs the doctor confirmed my decision to carry the baby full term. She said, "you have three children at home right"? I said, yes. And she followed with, " I don't know why you would put your three other children at risk with deciding not to terminate this pregnancy."

I had just asked her to CLEARLY define what the risks for me carrying the baby were with my placenta previa. Basically from what I understood is that there was a tiny possibility that my placenta would rupture. I could also have complications due to the surgery IF I were to have a c-section. It is still a possibility that the placenta could move and that I could have a natural delivery. I was more than mad. I hung up the phone and fell apart in disguist of the medical "ethics". I had told the doctor that I didn't feel that it was my place to stop the baby's heart and do a DandE even though I knew the outcome of the babys arrival would be death.. What she didn't entertain though, was that people also have complications due to abortions as well. This is what infuriated me so much. I had been warned that our American doctors have all the book knowledge in the world, but are missing one crucial part of knowledge. The knowledge of my God. What and who Jesus is to me can not be separated from ANY decision I ever make. This decision was no different.

-Summer