Wednesday, October 13, 2010

One Year

One year ago. Excitement. Camera. The Kids. The Plan. Shock.

Tears. Impossible. Hands. Listening. Questions. Choices. Decision. Raw. Picture. Word. Him.

"God, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." Psalm 139
Weeping, not sleeping. Fear. Anger. Devastation. Searching. Surreal. Reality. Valley. 

"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision." Valley of Vision
Help. Friends. Family. Jesus. Rock.


I don't know.

"This is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, but this is how it is, and our God is in control. This is not how it will be, when we finally will see, we'll see with our own eyes, He was always in control." "Our God Is In Control" by Steven Curtis Chapman
I know.

Weeping lasts but for a night, yet joy rises in the morning.


  1. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son, Michael. My son Thomas also died due to lack of kidneys. He had Potter's Syndrome. I saw that you have found our site and wanted to stop by.

    Please know that we will be continuing to lift your family in you grieve, and as you continue to serve the Lord. Also, we offer a Dreams of You Memory Book, Comfort Bear and other items on our Dreams of You page. We do not charge families for our products or services. I would love to send you a package. Please email us your shipping information at sgm.shipping@gmail(dot)com if you would like to receive those items, or if there is anything else we can do for your family to offer our support.

    In His Grace,
    Kelly Gerken
    Sufficient Grace Ministries

  2. Rick, I just finished reading your piece in the Fall 2010 "The Haven Network" newsletter. It is beautiful. Thank yo so much for writing it and being willing to share it with others. I love that it is written by "the dad, the husband." I believe that many of the visitors to me own website ( would be blessed by learning about you and your family. Do you have a copy of that piece I can post on my site? Would it be okay if I share the link to your site as well? Thanks for your consideration. Hope and peace, Tom Zuba