Thursday, April 15, 2010

83 days

For those of you who have "loss" in your lives, you know that it is called "loss" for a reason.  There is something missing. You will never get it back. The world acknowledges that you have "loss"... at least for a few days. But a bent toward the normal way of life and an uncomfortableness with one's "loss" finds the world wishing for you to "forget" about the "loss", or at the very least for you to accept that you have "loss" and move on.

There is a "moving on" that Summer and I have done. I mean - it would be a prison to not "move on" - a life lived on desperately trying to find the "loss". If you lose your car keys, or an expensive piece of jewelry, you know the frustration that can be had from searching for this precious thing. It can cause stress, anxiety and affect others around you. If you continue that hectic, anxious searching for your whole life - it will kill you. You eventually have to give up because you can't live life always looking for something.

Should we continue living life always looking at the six chairs around our table, knowing that someone is missing?  For sure, we "move on", but not to a point in which we lose touch with what God has done in our lives through the "loss", or the grace He has shown us around the "loss". Surely, eternity is there winking at us, bidding us closer. And, surely, we move closer each day. And as much as God has revealed we know with certainty what is on the other side and that His special grace in the event of taking Michael home and the grace He used to triumph over death will unite us in glory.

Do I cry for my "loss" even though I know these eternal things? Do I experience the emotion of anger at the One who allowed my loss, yet is the Great Architect of an eternity that comforts? Do I wish that my "loss" was in my one arm as I punch type with my other hand at this very moment in time? Do I wish God could have taught me all that He did without taking Michael?

83 days later it hurts like hell... and then I realize that is exactly how it should be - hurting like hell. For what have we to hope for if we already have it? And this present darkness, or as a friend of mine puts it - these dark waters - is the closest a Christ follower will come to a hell. And if you who are reading this choose not to follow Christ, this is the closest you will ever get to Heaven - where there is no death or... "loss".  No "loss"  is where my hope is found, for in Jesus there is no "loss".

"When you were dead in your sins, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the law that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." (Colossians 2:13-15)


  1. You are so good at putting your feelings down in writing. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with the world. God bless you and your family.

  2. Amen. Thank you for ministering to my pain even in your own. Love you guys.